Ramblings of a Sorta Single Mom

With J’s father we had broken up before I found out I was pregnant.  Then of course when I refused to get married just for that reason he disappeared fairly quickly and married someone else.   I guess I didn’t realize just how serious he was when he said “I won’t be unmarried when my first child is born”.  I guess to him it didn’t really matter if it was to the mother or tos omeone else.  Anyways, needless to say I went through that entire pregnancy basically on my own.  I didn’t get to experience having a partner who was excited or enthralled or confused or anything else that goes with it.  I made all the decisions myself and never had anothers point of view.  I can remember thinking how lucky the girls in a group I talked to were.  Talking about the things their hubbies did for them ro things that happened.  I never felt jealous though b/c I truely had no idea what it was all about.  Like that old saying…you can’t miss something you never had??

Well, now thats changed and I have to say it’s making me realize to it’s fullest extent just how much I missed.   It really is the little things to.  Like when he gets here, kisses me and then kisses my belly.  Or like last night…we were laying in bed and he had his head resting on the upper part of my belly while resting his hand on the lower part where baby is.  I can’t wait for when he can feel and see the movement too as it’s something he hasn’t experienced and it really is amazing.  There are other things to and they really are just small things that all add up.